DALLAS — Fried food fans looking to feast at this year's State Fair of Texas will have to bring an ID along with their appetite. Fair officials unveiled eight finalists in the Big Tex Choice Awards, including alcohol-laced fried goodies, Wednesday. Vendors at the fair that runs Sept. 24 through Oct. 17 are seeking honors for best taste and most creative new offerings. Fair spokeswoman Sue Gooding says those hoping to try the beer-filled pretzel pockets and deep-fried frozen margaritas will have to prove they are at least 21. The other six finalists to be judged by members of the media Sept. 6 include a deep fried s'mores Pop-Tart, fried club salad, fried chocolate, fried lemonade, fried caviar that features black-eyed peas, and a fried Frito pie, with chili and corn chips.
Everyone needs to calm the fuck down and hold on for a MINUTE. Does this article say deep-fried beer-filled pretzel pockets? I think I had a slight orgasm in my mouth. This has got to be some sort've sacrilege. I refuse to believe this is real life. To the man who invented this deep fried concoction of glory I salute you. Honestly this guy combined probably the three BEST things in the world... Beer. Pretzels. and Deep Fried. How could this even be bad? I'm not so much of a tequila guy but I'm sure if I was I'd be gettin my rocks out to 'ritas those too.
I thought all was fine and good until I kept reading and found out they are deep frying s'mores Pop-Tarts down in Dallas too. If only you people in Dallas would blow up the Cowboys you might actually be on to something here. I'm no deep-fried connoisseur but I've had my fair share of deep-fried Oreos and Candy bars and I know that pretty much ANYTHING deep fried rules. But I can't even imagine putting a deep fried Pop-Tart in my mouth and not busting a nut in 30 seconds.
I hate shit like this though. Reading articles about awesome food or watching a show on the tube about unreal places and unheard of things to eat. You get all riled up only to realize you prolly aren't ever going to be there or eat that stuff. It's like when you are sitting home solo dolo and you start watching Food Network and see a cheese-steak wrapped in a pizza (Philly Taco) and deep-fried. You know you want it but you are never ever going to get it. Plus that shit never turns out to be what you expected. If you are ever in LA go try an Oki Dog you will see what I'm talking about.
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