Hurling Girl Takes it into the weekend.

Swiped straight from the NY Stool because I watched this about 20 times and still can't stop laughing. Look at the bitch next to her, she is still smiling even after getting a barf shower from pukezilla. The pilot doesn't give a shit about her or the interior of the plane. Gold.

Try not to look like this over the weekend. Get your whip game proper, and remember - get money, get paid.

PS: KFC, Fluff is fucking epic.

Men find, drag torpedo 1,000 feet in Port Richmond, caught sitting on it boozing face at 7 a.m.

Inquirer

A PennDot archaeological team arrived at a dig under I-95 this morning to find two men drinking beer and sitting on a 20-foot-long torpedo they apparently had found hours earlier in the Delaware River.

The archaeologists called police and the Bomb Squad evacuated the immediate area at Richmond and Cumberland Streets, near I-95.

The torpedo with the number 56 on its side was inert, but the men who found it will not be able to keep it because it is military ordnance.

Charles Metzger, a PennDot spokesman, pieced together the following story.

The team arrived at 7 a.m. and saw the pair sitting on the torpedo, beers in hand, on land between the dig and a Conrail yard.

The two were waiting for a third companion who had gone off to get a vehicle to take the torpedo away.

They told the archaeological team they had found the torpedo in the river and spent something like six hours dragging it about 1,000 feet to the work site.

Police said the torpedo weighed 800 to 1,000 pounds.

No charges are expected, police said. The bomb squad removed the torpedo from the site, but not until it fell once from the claw of the lift device used to load the metal tube into a truck.

 

Woha, woah woah... How fucking blacked out do you have to be to drag a 1,000 lb torpedo almost a 1/4 of a mile without knowing its 'going to blow you into pink mist' status?  Unless you were a member of a bomb squad or military ordinance expert, why the hell would you even attempt this?

The true gem of this story is the PennDot crews found them at 7a.m. slamming beers sitting on this thing... Stay classy Philly

k-mac weighs in:

These guys must have been crushed on the job. Who carries a half ton piece of metal anywhere? I don't care if it was made of gold and I could get my rocks out with it like those freaks with the balloons (insert link). It's a thousand fuckin pounds! To each his own I guess.

 

Love how they quietly dropped (no pun intended, but totally intended)* the "The bomb squad removed the torpedo from the site, but not until it fell once from the claw of the lift device used to load the metal tube into a truck." Like how do you explain that one if it somehow exploded when you dropped it? "Uh, yea, Chief, we kind of dropped the torpedo and killed everyone here," probably wouldn't go over real well.

 

*Totally stole the no pun intended line from Pres, but I love saying it so don't tell me I stole it in the comment section idiots

 

P.S. - I imagine DoC could find some use for this massive shaft...

Hey NJ: Jersey Shore is the least of your worries

Philly.com How awful is MTV sur-reality show Jersey Shore , whose cast has taken over the otherwise idyllic hamlet of Seaside Heights? So bad, so awful, so hurtful, CNN reports, that Garden State residents say it gives their state a bad rep. In a poll of 1,190 New Jersey voters conducted this month by Connecticut's Quinnipiac University, 54 percent said Jersey Shore was bad for the state's image. The naysayers aren't just fans of Republican Gov. Christie , who has blasted the show and its brainiac stars Snooki , The Situation, and JWoww as part of a Jersey-hating conspiracy by New Yorkers. (The cast is overwhelmingly from New York.)

J-Shore loathing is one of the only bipartisan stances left in the nation: Fifty-seven percent of Republicans and 52 percent of Democrats agreed.

Poll director Maurice Carroll puts it bluntly: "New Jerseyans to New York: Keep your lowlifes at home and away from our seashore," he said.

Can I just remind New Jersey that New York, and to a lesser extend Pennsylvania are the reason that the wretched piece of land has any residents to begin with?  If it wasn't for New Yorkers and Philadelphians invading your "seashore" (sidenote: using the term "seashore" is also a reason you should off yourself) - and populating your suburbs is the only reason you have any sort of an economy to begin with... Quit your bitching that a reality show is ruining your reputation.  Your reputation was ruined when you accepted the first bag of trash from New York.  Take a look in the mirror Jersey, have you seen Camden recently, not exactly the crown jewel of the country.

"Jersey Shore" probably brings more money to the fleabag town of Seaside than the normal freak parade that occupies that town. PS: Fix up your decrepit places people actually would to visit like Atlantic City and quit complaining about an MTV show.

Is Dallas Heaven? No. Fuck the Cowboys.

DALLAS — Fried food fans looking to feast at this year's State Fair of Texas will have to bring an ID along with their appetite. Fair officials unveiled eight finalists in the Big Tex Choice Awards, including alcohol-laced fried goodies, Wednesday. Vendors at the fair that runs Sept. 24 through Oct. 17 are seeking honors for best taste and most creative new offerings. Fair spokeswoman Sue Gooding says those hoping to try the beer-filled pretzel pockets and deep-fried frozen margaritas will have to prove they are at least 21. The other six finalists to be judged by members of the media Sept. 6 include a deep fried s'mores Pop-Tart, fried club salad, fried chocolate, fried lemonade, fried caviar that features black-eyed peas, and a fried Frito pie, with chili and corn chips.

Everyone needs to calm the fuck down and hold on for a MINUTE. Does this article say deep-fried beer-filled pretzel pockets? I think I had a slight orgasm in my mouth. This has got to be some sort've sacrilege. I refuse to believe this is real life. To the man who invented this deep fried concoction of glory I salute you. Honestly this guy combined probably the three BEST things in the world... Beer. Pretzels. and Deep Fried. How could this even be bad? I'm not so much of a tequila guy but I'm sure if I was I'd be gettin my rocks out to 'ritas those too.

I thought all was fine and good until I kept reading and found out they are deep frying s'mores Pop-Tarts down in Dallas too. If only you people in Dallas would blow up the Cowboys you might actually be on to something here. I'm no deep-fried connoisseur but I've had my fair share of deep-fried Oreos and Candy bars and I know that pretty much ANYTHING deep fried rules. But I can't even imagine putting a deep fried Pop-Tart in my mouth and not busting a nut in 30 seconds.

I hate shit like this though. Reading articles about awesome food or watching a show on the tube about unreal places and unheard of things to eat. You get all riled up only to realize you prolly aren't ever going to be there or eat that stuff. It's like when you are sitting home solo dolo and you start watching Food Network and see a cheese-steak wrapped in a pizza (Philly Taco) and deep-fried. You know you want it but you are never ever going to get it. Plus that shit never turns out to be what you expected. If you are ever in LA go try an Oki Dog you will see what I'm talking about.

One small step for gross...

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I gotta say, this is a good positive step forward for NJ, seeing as the entire state smells like the mix between Tyson Chicken Farms, a locker room, and Indian food covered in burnt hair. Now if only they could get these trucks to cruise the entire state they might be in business. Wait a minute, no matter what NJ does the entire state will be a complete waste of time.

If only we could get some of these "stationary misters" set-up in the SEPTA terminals. Better yet let's throw them on the trains and pretty much everywhere in center city.

P.S. Love the kid at the end straight up tellin it like it is. "Does it smell like perfume?" "No Bitch. This shit still smells like fucking garbage GTFO."

Does this look like the face of a woman arrested for possession of a crack pipe, driving with a vibrator and watching a porno?

(The Smoking Gun)AUGUST 25--A Cincinnati woman was simultaneously masturbating with a sex toy and watching a pornographic video while driving last week, according to cops who arrested her on assorted criminal charges.

Colondra Hamilton, 36, was pulled over last Tuesday evening in a traffic stop triggered when cops noticed she was driving a 2008 Pontiac with overly tinted windows.

That’s when officers noticed that Hamilton’s pants were unbuttoned. And she had a vibrator in her lap. Questioned by cops, Hamilton admitted to engaging in auto erotic manipulation, and revealed that she had also been watching a porno movie that was playing on the laptop of a friend in the passenger seat, according to an Elmwood Place Police Department report.

Hamilton, pictured in the above mug shot, was booked into the Hamilton County jail on a misdemeanor count of driving with “impaired alertness.” Hamilton was also charged with possession of drug paraphernalia since cops found a “broken piece of crack pipe” in her purse.

Yes.  Yes it does.

Wake up with Beth Ostrosky

Beth Ostrosky is an American television personality. Unfortunately for everyone out there who is single this bird is already tied up to the LEGEND of pushing smut and crude humor Howard Stern. But to say the least Beth here is definitely one hot piece of ass.